Cannot walk on any surface

Security / PixabayIt’s a family joke that I can’t eat without wearing my food or walk without tumbling into something or someone. It’s reality that I’m just clumsy. I always have been.

As a grown up, my clumsiness has lost it’s charming quality. Where once I felt like I could laugh about this, now it makes me more than mildly embarrassed.

I often look up in the mirror and ponder where I got that mysterious stain. Or I find some random bruise or scratch and don’t know where it came from.

Aren’t I supposed to be past that now? Aren’t I supposed to be collected and put together by this age?

I guess I’ll never be one of those people who make it through the day without a minor, or not-so-minor, mishap. But I really wish that I was.

IMAGE SOURCE: Security / Pixabay

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Letting the world get to me

I’m sitting here trying to center myself. I am scheduled to speak in a few hours at a big conference. It’s kind of a big deal and I was thrilled to get asked. I felt honored.

Today it’s hard to connect with that feeling.
My new job has robbed me of all the joy from this experience. From making me feel guilty for taking the day, to making it impossible for me to make it to the conference.

Just getting in to the conference was an exercise in frustration.

The nice volunteer who checked me in noticed immediately. She very nicely suggested I take a few quiet minutes to destress before delving into the conference. Ten minutes later I am much much better.

If I hadn’t taken her recommendation I would have gone around with a dark cloud ruining the day for me. And that really isn’t the way I wanted to go through today.

image source:PublicDomainPictures / Pixabay

Recipes and Food Posts, November 7

2013.11 Recipes-sm

Pumpkin Pie Parfaits

A great variation on pumpkin pies, this recipe for Pumpkin Pie Parfaits will be a big hit with your kids. The recipe is from Weelicious Lunches.

Turkeys

Lifehacker claims to have the best “this is how to cook your turkey” approach/recipe. I came across this last year, when I was cooking turducken, so I bookmarked it to share this year. Source: This Is How You Should Cook Your Turkey (to Avoid Wasting Hours) || Lifehacker.

More proof that God hates me

I spent the day yesterday making a road trip to visit my niece at her university. This is supposed to be a nice thing,  I think.  Regardless of the family drama,  it was a nice visit.  My niece is glowing,  she’s so happy at her new school.  It was great to see;  I’m so proud of her.

Did I mention that I volunteered to drive me car? On the way back a rock hit and cracked my windshield.  It has to be replaced, there’s too much damage for a repair. The cost won’t be covered by my insurance.

No good deed goes unpunished.

{Written on my mobile device. More details to follow in another post.}

Apologies are required

I owe you an apology, I know. I’ve rehearsed it in my head, the words I will use, the tone of voice and the subtle “I’m sorry” it will include. I owe you an apology, I know. But you’re probably never getting it.

My father used to do this thing where he blew up, he would make mountains out of molehills, leaving us baffled over his extreme reaction to small things. As I’ve grown up I’ve realized he was reacting to other things, but that was never any consolation.

He never apologized. He would be extra nice for a while, and we all knew why. He was trying to make up for whatever he said or did without having to say the words “I’m sorry” or “I was wrong.”

I guess I’m more like him than I thought.

I’ve previously written that my first reaction is something I’ve had to learn to ignore. My first instinct is to confront, argue, yell — never the reaction that will make things better, never the tone that will solve the issue.

Today I did that. I lashed out on something that wasn’t a big deal to someone who actually wasn’t really at fault. And I knew immediately that I was wrong.

I’ve been practicing my apology in my head all day. And that’s where it stayed.

I never said that I made sense.

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image source: WikiImages / Pixabay

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