I didn’t think this through…

Today, for the first time, I realized that if even if just half the proposals I’ve put out get picked up, I’m going to need help. I’ll need other professionals, people I trust with higher level work. But I’m going to need warm bodies to attend meetings on my behalf, take pics, update documents, and pretty much just do assisting work.

I’m going to need an assistant. That’s a scary thought.

I don’t have the slightest idea how I’ll do this. If the proposals get picked up. If I start getting paid enough that I can pay others. If, if, if …

Why didn’t I realize this sooner? I think I had a mental block about it. The entire “being an entrepreneur” process has produced some sort of block in my normal processes. I just don’t want to take next steps. I just don’t want to do what needs to be done.

Can I just get paid to watch Netflix while I update my social networks? Wait, I can … just not enough to pay my bills … at least not yet.

If I do have to hire people, I’ll deal with it. That’s what employment agencies are for.

Now I’m going to hope to make enough money to pay my bills and still have enough to pay for help.

Image source: Kaboompics / Pixabay


An unexpectedly bad day…

The best things in life are free  ...
Someone needs to explain to me that everything that goes up must come down … before I crash down. {{sigh}} I didn’t crash today, but I did have a rough landing.

I cracked a filling, again. The same one I cracked last year. And I don’t have dental insurance right now because I thought it would be a good idea to quit my job.

I’m not out of money yet. Nowhere near, yet. But I’m realizing I’m going to be out of money a lot quicker than I thought.

Just a little bit of a depressing thought.  I’ll be better once my tooth has stopped aching; so I’ll be better next week.


Trying to reinvent myself

Reinventing Myself (more info at

One of the biggest challenges I’ve been seeing lately is trying to answer questions about my plans for the future, immediate and long-term. I’m unemployed, I should be frantically looking for a new job … but I’m not. I should have some idea of what I’m going to do for money (a job or freelancing) … but I don’t. I should have some idea of what I would like to do in a business (assuming I “launch” one) … but I don’t. I actually don’t know anything right now. It’s disconcerting.

I give my family and friends a lot of credit, they’re being very supportive. They haven’t started to freak out on me yet. They haven’t started to push yet.

I’m pretty sure I don’t want another job, but I haven’t “decided” that yet. I’m pretty sure that I want to start my own business, but I haven’t taken the first steps to make that happen. I know that I want to do more fun things and to be more visible in offline events; this is one thing I have actually started to do.

I have started to rebrand myself, from a new cut and new clothes, to changing the type of writing I’m doing and reassessing what I want to show professionally. I think this may be my first step. But I need to establish some timelines; I can’t spent too long finding myself. At some point bills need to get paid.


I changed my life … now what?

I changed my life ... now what?

Have you ever wondered what happens the day after “happily ever after?” The day after the revolution? The day after you upend your entire life and change everything?

I did that a few weeks ago — changed my life. Well, sort of ripped it apart a little. Made a change that has an impact on everything. Now I’m wondering what I’m supposed to do next.

We identify ourselves a certain way — by our families, loved ones, careers, achievements, even by our looks — and we get attached to that way of thinking. I am the sum of those parts. When you take away one of them, what’s left?

Don’t mind me. This is middle-of-the-night rambling. I’ll make more sense with more sleep.

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