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I didn’t think this through…

Today, for the first time, I realized that if even if just half the proposals I’ve put out get picked up, I’m going to need help. I’ll need other professionals, people I trust with higher level work. But I’m going to need warm bodies to attend meetings on my behalf, take pics, update documents, and pretty much just do assisting work.

I’m going to need an assistant. That’s a scary thought.

I don’t have the slightest idea how I’ll do this. If the proposals get picked up. If I start getting paid enough that I can pay others. If, if, if …

Why didn’t I realize this sooner? I think I had a mental block about it. The entire “being an entrepreneur” process has produced some sort of block in my normal processes. I just don’t want to take next steps. I just don’t want to do what needs to be done.

Can I just get paid to watch Netflix while I update my social networks? Wait, I can … just not enough to pay my bills … at least not yet.

If I do have to hire people, I’ll deal with it. That’s what employment agencies are for.

Now I’m going to hope to make enough money to pay my bills and still have enough to pay for help.

Image source: Kaboompics / Pixabay

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More proof that God hates me

I spent the day yesterday making a road trip to visit my niece at her university. This is supposed to be a nice thing,  I think.  Regardless of the family drama,  it was a nice visit.  My niece is glowing,  she’s so happy at her new school.  It was great to see;  I’m so proud of her.

Did I mention that I volunteered to drive me car? On the way back a rock hit and cracked my windshield.  It has to be replaced, there’s too much damage for a repair. The cost won’t be covered by my insurance.

No good deed goes unpunished.

{Written on my mobile device. More details to follow in another post.}

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You want me to tell you what?!?!

OpenClips / Pixabay

Is there a polite way to tell people to back the frack off and that what they’re asking is none of their business?
Yeah, I didn’t think so.

At a breakfast this morning someone I barely know grilled me for 10 minutes on the retirement plan at work. And I was polite, I really was. I answered her questions as vaguely as I could, growing increasingly irritated at her more pointed and less polite questions as they came my way. And at no time did she realize that she was being intrusive and offensive.

The most important thing here to note is that we were having breakfast so she could ask me to do some committee work for her group. She was asking me for a favor, which I’ve already declined once, and the way she did that was to make me irritated and upset.

I honestly don’t think she knows that she essentially guaranteed that I would not take her up on her invitation to be on the committee and that she’s also ensured that we never become any closer than we are today, which is not at all. I’m petty that way.

When did it become OK to ask someone whether they have a retirement, what they pay for it, what their employer pays, and how long you have to be there to be vested? Unless I’ve made an appointment with you to review my retirement plan, these questions are out of bounds. And, for future reference, if you ask me intrusive questions on a day when I’m not feeling polite… well, the dislike will go both ways.

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I didn’t plan that!

As if I needed further proof that God hates me…

I bought a DSLR camera kit. I’d been lusting after one for quite a while but I couldn’t justify it to myself. I own a very nice point and click I bought mid-2012 that produces very nice shots. But I really really wanted a DSLR camera.

Christmas sales exist to make my life difficult. Amazon had been listing an “everything included” sale on a Canon Rebel T5i that literally had everything I ever wanted, including a long-range zoom lens, a tripod and an extra battery.

I really really wanted it.

I consulted with a friend who takes photos professionally. She told me to get it, that it was going to be the best deal I could find on this kind of thing. And still I paused.

“That’s a lot of money,” I kept telling myself. And I kept visiting the listing, secretly hoping that the sale would end and put me out of my misery.

I stayed within budget for all my Christmas expenses. I put aside the money for the New Year’s trip. I didn’t go crazy on any dinners, or presents or anything else.

“I deserve this,” I told myself. And still I paused. I knew that if I was going to buy it, I would need to put it on a credit card. The one that I’d almost paid off from my last shopping spree.

One morning, after Christmas, I finally gave in. Practically holding my breath, I ordered the camera kit. I entered my credit card info (secretly hoping they would deny the charge and save me from myself).

The camera was ordered. Amazon sent me a message to confirm that it would be shipped shortly.

I started to breathe easier. I should have known better.

Later that same day I cracked a crown. A subsequent visit to the dentist confirmed that I needed extensive work, again and on the same tooth as just a year ago.

How much is this going to cost me? You guessed it! Almost exactly the purchase price of the camera kit.

God is laughing at me. I just know it.

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