Trying to reinvent myself


One of the biggest challenges I've been seeing lately is trying to answer questions about my plans for the future, immediate and long-term. I'm unemployed, I should be frantically looking for a new job ... but I'm not. I should have some idea of what I'm going to do for money (a job or freelancing) ... but I don't. I should have some idea of what I would like to do in a business (assuming I "launch" one) ... but I don't. I actually don't know anything right now. It's disconcerting. I give my … [Read more...]

I changed my life … now what?

I changed my life ... now what?

Have you ever wondered what happens the day after "happily ever after?" The day after the revolution? The day after you upend your entire life and change everything? I did that a few weeks ago -- changed my life. Well, sort of ripped it apart a little. Made a change that has an impact on everything. Now I'm wondering what I'm supposed to do next. We identify ourselves a certain way -- by our families, loved ones, careers, achievements, even by our looks -- and we get attached to that way … [Read more...]

Why did I say that?


   I never should have opened my mouth. For two days I've been trying to overcome the overwhelming desire to strike back. It was a petty, mean thought that I knew I would regret.I fought the urge for two days. Then I lost. I opened my mouth and told a tale -- the wrong words to the wrong person. He'll do something, react. He'll hold a grudge, but not against me. And that was the point.I gave in to the petty urge, and now I feel guilty.Guilt guilt guilt. When the chips fall … [Read more...]

What happens in the dim bar…

sharonang / Pixabay

At some point in the conversation I realize that he's been flirting with intent. I look at this man across the table from me, too young and too beautiful, and I smile at him. And then it dawns on me that he's been waiting for me to make the next move. We're sitting in a fashionable but semi-deserted hotel bar where I've been been entertaining him for the past few hours with the unfiltered words that tend to color my conversations. Really, he's just been my attentive audience for most of it. … [Read more...]

So I quit my job today …


I didn't intend to do it. I was going to be professional, calm, adult-like. I was going to update my resume, start to look for a job discretely, find something then leave. It was a plan. I made that decision mid-morning. Then I realized that that idea of going into this workplace on a daily basis was making me hyperventilate. It was making me sick to my stomach. So, then, I realized that I need to quit now. So the plan was that I was going to write my letter of resignation and turn it in … [Read more...]

A mistaken sense of failure


A few years ago I started taking some graphic design classes at the local community college to get in touch with my creativity. The first semester was wonderful. I loved the classes, learned a lot. I'm still using some of the info and techniques I learned in that one semester. The next semester was a disaster. The professor came into the classroom and read from the book for an hour. It. Was. Mind. Numbing. It was boring and I hated it. I wasn't engaged and wasn't learning. I was telling a … [Read more...]

Love at first sight

joakant / Pixabay

From the first date, the first day they met he was different with her than with all the ones that came before. She would find out later that it was unusual behavior for him to go pick up his date, to bring her presents, to surprise her, to woo her. To her, this was just the way all of her boyfriends behaved. To him this was just different. "How do you get him to do that?" her friend would ask when he did the wooing things. And my sister would look at her, baffled, not understanding the … [Read more...]

High School Sweethearts


This is a semi-fictional story. He was her first kiss. Her first real date. Her first boyfriend. Her first love. He was the first boy she introduced to her parents. The first guy who was allowed into her room. The first one to really get her. They went to different high schools, but were both entering junior year when they met while working at the same summer job. It was his goofy sense of humor, she will tell you, that she first noticed. He made her laugh. It was, however, his exceptional … [Read more...]