One of my best friends recently adopted a baby boy, and by “recently” I mean he’s about a month old. She and her husband went through an open adoption. They’ve been tring to have a child for years and have quite literally tried almost everything medically possible. Earlier this year they decided that it was time to look at adoption as a serious option and started the process.
Some other time I will write about the heart-wrenching steps involved in adoption, and the judgment she suffered from family, friends and coworkers. There’s not enough time today to get into all of that.
However, I have noticed that since she started the process and I learned so much about this, through her, I’ve seen adoption articles everywhere. Stories online, in print, on TV about adopting, about giving up a child for adoption, and about raising an adoptive child. I thought I’d share this one since it actually applied to me: “5 Ways to Support New Adoptive Families” in mamiverse. Here’s the short version:
- Before the new arrival comes home, drop by some meals that can be frozen and served for their first few days as a new family.
- In the family’s first few days home, resist calling too much… Then, once you are more regularly connecting, always call before you stop by.
- First and foremost, respect that the parenting experience in adoption is always unique and that the parents in that situation know the most about what to do.
- Offer to come over and give support to the parent—doing laundry, cleaning, mowing the lawn, etc.
- Ask questions. How are you doing? What can I do? What is going well? What’s hard? How can I be more helpful? What do you need? How was the journey? What have you learned? What helps? It is so nice to have a willing listener as you process the experience.
Read the entire article, these are great tips. It’s good to know I was doing one or two things right already.