I hate the word "Diet." I hate that I use it. I hate that I invoke it like a prayer that I'll be happier. I want the word to disappear. I want my desire to use it, to actually embrace it to go away. I want to stop thinking that if I do it, if I actually succeed this time, that something will change. I want to stop wanting it. Stop wanting to look like the others. Stop … [Read more...] about Starting to think about the “D” word again
"Big." "Chunky." "Plus-sized." These are all words my loved ones would use to describe my appearance. Others would just call me "fat." The medical community would use the word "obese." Strangers and acquaintances alike take it upon themselves to try to shame me, to make me understand the way that I'm destroying the world by insisting on being fat. There's an entire industry … [Read more...] about I am my own worst critic, A.K.A. who is that fat girl in the photo?
I was good today and brought my lunch to work. Brown-bag lunches are part of an attempt to keep my diet regulated and my budget under control. That is, I eat better and spend less money if I bring my lunch instead of going out to buy it. I don't want what I brought. This happens frequently. I go to the trouble of packing a lunch, then when I eat it it's boring or I just … [Read more...] about A lunch dilemma
My roommates are on a diet. I am not. Let me be very clear on that: I. AM. NOT. DIETING. And yet, I'm thinking that maybe (just maybe) cutting back on my comfort foods might not be a bad idea. Certainly, my doctor would agree. Today I resisted the chocolate cake some "helpful" coworker brought to work. And I really really wanted that cake. It's been a stressful few … [Read more...] about I resisted the chocolate cake! #smallvictories
At what point do you stop being friends with someone? What's your line in the sand? She asked me what my size is, casually, because she's lost all this weight and has clothes she needs to get rid of now. The clothing is size -X2 (ie., two sizes smaller than I am now; note I am "X"). I told her what my size is. This is something I wouldn't tell my sister, wouldn't answer … [Read more...] about I think we’re not friends any more