I went to an event over the weekend and was feeling good about myself — I wore a nice dress, heels (without incurring injury), and had a nice time. All in all, it was great.
Until I saw the photos.
Why is it always such a shock to see myself, the real “outside” self, in photos? I’m always taken by surprise by my size, the shape of my face, the fact that I’m bigger than almost everyone else in the photos.
Who is the fat girl in the photo?
The ironic thing is that almost as soon as I step away from the photo, the dismay disappears. It only reappears at odd moments like when I have to weigh in at the doctor’s office, sit in an airline seat, try on new clothes and look at the size of what actually fits (instead of what I think is going to fit).
I know that I could not live with that level of self… disapproval, with the constant feeling of disappointment in myself. But I do wonder: if I did feel like that all the time, would I be more motivated to lose weight?
Even if I did lose the weight, the photos are forever.
***** Written on my ipad. I promise to proof and edit it later (maybe). ******