I never should have opened my mouth. For two days I’ve been trying to overcome the overwhelming desire to strike back. It was a petty, mean thought that I knew I would regret.
I fought the urge for two days. Then I lost. I opened my mouth and told a tale — the wrong words to the wrong person.
He’ll do something, react. He’ll hold a grudge, but not against me. And that was the point.
I gave in to the petty urge, and now I feel guilty.
Guilt guilt guilt.
When the chips fall hard on my head, I will once again feel regret. I probably won’t have to wait long.
I should have been a grown up. But I wasn’t.
***** Written on my ipad. I promise to proof and edit it later (maybe). ******
I didn’t intend to do it. I was going to be professional, calm, adult-like. I was going to update my resume, start to look for a job discretely, find something then leave. It was a plan.
I made that decision mid-morning.
Then I realized that that idea of going into this workplace on a daily basis was making me hyperventilate. It was making me sick to my stomach. So, then, I realized that I need to quit now. So the plan was that I was going to write my letter of resignation and turn it in tomorrow.
I made that decision mid-afternoon.
Then I sat in a meeting and got so worked up, so upset that I walked into my boss’ office and told her that I was going to quit and that the letter would follow shortly.
I made that decision late afternoon.
In two weeks I will be unemployed for the first time in my adult life. I don’t have a job waiting. I don’t have a plan. I don’t know what I’m doing next.
All I know is that I’m so relieved that in a few weeks I don’t have to go into that workplace any more. I don’t have to navigate those people any more. I’ll be done.
It’ll hit me soon. Right now I feel like someone pulled a huge weight off me. Ask me how I feel in two weeks.
At my new job there seems to be some sort of conspiracy to keep me from ever eating during the day. It doesn’t matter if I bring lunch or not. It doesn’t matter if I pack something that doesn’t need to be reheated or refrigerated. Most days I don’t get to eat at all.
Breakfast has become critical for me, since I’m probably not going to get home until 8pm. Oh, did I forget to mention that? It’s not like I skip lunch and then leave promptly at 5pm… or 6pm… It’s always closer to 7pm (or later) before I start to wrap up my day.
You would think that I would lose weight, but no. My body seems to be storing fat for future use, or in protest or something.
Okay, so this is going to be kind of a rant… You have been warned.
I have this moment of disbelief when someone tells me that they know someone who would be perfect at “doing social media as a job.” The statement is usually followed by an explanation that this person is on all the networks, spends a lot of time on them, has a lot of friends, and “knows what they’re doing.”
The disbelief is followed by a burst of amusement. This is the equivalent of saying that someone is qualified to drive in Nascar because they have a long daily commute. They spend a lot of time doing it, so they must be ready to do it professionally.
::notice the sarcasm?::
In my world, social media is a business. We apply marketing and communications principles to the messaging. Posts are tactics, and they usually have a goal of some sort. And the goal has a KPI of some sort. Yes, we measure. We measure a lot. We measure on schedule, and learn from the results. And make improvements.
All of this requires some knowledge of how social media works, and how it impacts your business’ bottom line. And this is true if your business is a non-profit, a food truck, a school, a freelancing business, or even a blog.
What makes you think you can do my job? What makes you think that my job is so mind-numbingly easy that anyone can come in and just do it, without any training of any kind? What makes you think you have the knowledge and insight to tell me that I’m doing the job wrong.
In my world, social media is a business. So let’s treat it as such.
image source: Nemo / Pixabay
I’m sitting here trying to center myself. I am scheduled to speak in a few hours at a big conference. It’s kind of a big deal and I was thrilled to get asked. I felt honored.
Today it’s hard to connect with that feeling.
My new job has robbed me of all the joy from this experience. From making me feel guilty for taking the day, to making it impossible for me to make it to the conference.
Just getting in to the conference was an exercise in frustration.
The nice volunteer who checked me in noticed immediately. She very nicely suggested I take a few quiet minutes to destress before delving into the conference. Ten minutes later I am much much better.
If I hadn’t taken her recommendation I would have gone around with a dark cloud ruining the day for me. And that really isn’t the way I wanted to go through today.
image source:PublicDomainPictures / Pixabay